5 week update

Thanks to everyone who has checked in about Henry’s health.  The staph infection is all cleared up, gotta love that super strong antibacterial ointment!

His latest thing–which is not so much a health condition as it is an annoyance for the poor little guy–is excessive gassiness.  I’ll spare you all the details, but it’s making it difficult for him to sleep and nurse, given the obvious discomfort he’s in.

Before you post, yes, I’ve already given up dairy, chocolate, caffeine, spicy foods, red/tomato sauce, and most vegetables. None of this seems to have made much of a difference, so we’re headed back to the doc tomorrow just to make sure nothing else is going on.  My guess is it could be the occasional 2 oz of formula we give him, or he’s just got an immature digestive system and he’ll eventually outgrow this.  Let’s hope so, b/c right now he smells a lot like a college kid after a long night of drinking.

One Month

Dear baby boy,

Today you are one month old. I can’t believe it, really. Sometimes I look down at you and still can’t believe you’re actually here, a little person, in our family–it almost seems like this must be someone else’s baby that I’m just babysitting for awhile. But other times I look at you and can’t remember or imagine our lives without you, and you seem like you’ve always been with us.

You’ve had a pretty amazing month, all told. You’re already growing and changing before our eyes, and your face is filling out, while your hair is getting lighter in color. You seem lankier, too–and not quite the tiny little guy we brought home. I have a feeling that if I ever get around to actually dressing you (right now, you live exclusively in dipes and t-shirts), none of the newborn outfits will fit you.

You’re still pretty unpredictable, and as Daddy reminds me, you’ll have many more days of unpredictability, so I’m just relaxing into a routine of no routine, if that makes any sense. We spend most of our time nursing, and walking around the house when you’re fussy. And sometimes we sleep.

You don’t interact much, yet, but there are glimmers there. Starting at about 3 weeks, you seemed to be more alert, and started to spend more time looking at us. We talk to you a lot, and I try to sing to you, but I don’t remember many baby lullabies, and I’m such a hormonal sap still that I often end up crying through the songs I do know. I’m not sure why–probably because I think this time is so precious and fleeting that the lullabies don’t do it justice. So I try to sing other things–”Sweet Child O’ Mine” by GNR, “I’d Run Away” by the Jayhawks, “Up the Junction” by Squeeze, “Thunder Road” and “Backstreets” by Springsteen. . .anything I can remember the lyrics to. Both the Wisconsin and Notre Dame fight songs have crept into rotation when I’m really desperate for material.

Your Grandma Nolan continues to come over almost every day to help take care of you, which remains a total godsend. You’ve had other visitors too, but still haven’t met all your aunts/uncles/cousins/great-grandparents and close family friends–by choice, I’ve kept us in a pretty small little cocoon until I feel like you –but mainly I– can handle more visitors. Hopefully that will be soon.

Mostly, I just remain totally amazed at you. You are so perfect and so beautiful, it fills up my heart to just look at you. Sometimes I can’t even breath when I think about all that’s yet to come, and how just by being here, you make me want to be a better person. I so want to do right by you, little guy, and although I know I won’t always, I am sure that I’ll always love you like crazy.

If I could leave you with a picture of us this first month, my baby Henry, it would be of us curled up together, getting to know one another. Ignore my tears dripping into your t-shirt, ignore the messy house, ignore my shocking lack of personal hygiene… just look at us and know how much I love you, and how much I will always love you.

Love,

Mommy

Napping with Daddy

A strong grip. . .

for such tiny hands

Soy?

Several of you have posted comments saying you used soy-based formula.  Any thoughts/opinions on why soy-based vs. conventional formula?

Henry’s verrrrrrry gassy and we’re wondering if the 2oz of “regular” formula we give him per day is the culprit.  We’re giving a soy formula a shot today, but I’ve been reading some mixed reviews of soy-based formulas online, so just curious to hear everyone’s experiences.

Staph, retreat

Well, bit of a setback yesterday. I went to change a dipe yesterday morning and noticed (SPOILER ALERT: somewhat graphic stuff coming, skip to next ‘graf if you need to) some large, adult-sized pimples in his diaper area. I’ve seen diaper rash before, and this wasn’t it–very red, inflamed looking whiteheads. totally gross.

My sister (who was up visiting from Chicago and is the mom of three) said she’s never seen anything like it. My mom thought it was just a bad diaper rash. Nevertheless, I called the pediatrician, figuring, hey, this is why we have insurance, right? She was stymied by my description as well and b/c he’s still so young, she asked me to come in right away to have it checked out.

So we get there, and I’m still assuming it’s sort of nothing and the medical student takes a look and doesn’t say much and then the doc comes in, takes one look and says, “That’s a staph infection.”

Ohmigod, poor little guy. and i am the worst mom or what?? how did he pick that up??? The doc says everyone has staph on their skin and sometimes with newborns the skin gets irritated in the diaper area, providing an entrance for the staph bacteria. At any rate, the doc cultured one of the blemishes, and will let me know for sure today or tomorrow if it’s staph, but he said he was fairly certain. In the meantime, the treatment is to wash the affected area with Dial soap three times a day and apply a prescription topical antibiotic 3x as well, for 10 days. If this doesn’t resolve things, we move to an oral antibiotic.

Keep your fingers crossed that this goes away quickly. Poor little guy.

On the plus side, they weighed him at the doctor’s office and he’s up to 8lbs 2oz, wooo-hooo!

And, he got to meet his Aunt Rose and cousin Claire yesterday, so it was just an action-packed day. He ended up sleeping like a log from 4-7pm, and again from about 10-12, and then again from 1-4am, so that’s some pretty good sleep blocks.

here are a few new pics. Henry with Aunt Rose:

Henry with his cousin Claire:

3 weeks

Henry is three weeks old today.

And now I’m having trouble remembering life without him. . .

Here’s Henry with Grandma Nolan

And here he is, waving his hands in the air like he don’t care. . .

and one more

OK, this is the last one

The F word

As in “formula.”  we’ve had a run of bad days here–nursing for up to 2 hrs at a time, lots of fussiness, little sleep. The lactation consultant at Meriter said she thinks this is a growth spurt, which explains why Henry keeps wanting to nurse, doesn’t seem satiated, and most painfully, isn’t falling asleep at the breast as he had previously done.

After several hours of inconsolable crying and marathon nursing sessions this weekend, Dave suggested we give the forumla a shot.  I was reluctant, b/c most of what you hear/read from the breastfeeding community doesn’t really support use of formula, but by 2 am I was willing to try anything.

We mixed up 2 oz, I held my breath and handed Dave the bottle, the kid sucked it down and was out like a light for the next four hours.

Same thing happened on Sunday.

What can I say?  I’m sort of confused but I’m assuming that we are in the midst of a growth spurt and even though I’m producing enough he wants more.  And if the formula helps fill him up and helps him (and me!) sleep, I’m all for it.  We’ll see what the lactation consultant says when I talk to her today.

Turning the Corner

I had a roommate in college that used to yell “TURN THE CORNER,Turn the corner, turn the corner, turnthecorner, turnthecornerturnthecornerturnthecorner. ..” during football games, and b/c I really knew jack about football, I had no idea what the expresion meant. Someone finally explained it to me at some point, and the phrase still sticks in my head–especially now.

I feel like I’ve slowly turned a corner with the baby blues thing and am within sight of my old self again. Still massively sleep-deprived, but even that’s a bit better–we’ve had a couple of nights where Henry’s given me 4 hours in a row, which is like winning the lottery.

To say the hormonal onslaught took me by surprise is an understatement—I had no idea just how nutsy and unlike myself I’d feel. Everyone said the first two weeks were the worst, and I can see why that’s the case now. Here are the things I was worried to tears about this time last week:

-How bad would the avian flu get this winter? will it be the pandemic? how will i protect our little guy?

-How can i make sure he doesn’t grow up to be a Columbine-style killer? Am I a good enough parent to ensure that doesn’t happen? I’m sure the Klebolds and Harris families probably thought they were doing an ok job.

-I hate that he has to register for the draft someday. What if there’s still some crazy shit war going on somewhere?

-Will kids tease him in school? Will he have friends? Little kids can be such assholes.

and like a bajillion other things that don’t bear enumerating here, but you get the idea.

This week, I’m still aware that there’s a lot of stuff out there he’ll have to deal with, but I’m also feeling more confident in my ability to help him navigate it. And I also think the practical side of my brain is reasserting itself, because at one point I clearly heard my internal voice saying something to the effect of, “um, could you maybe worry about this stuff a few years down the road? how ’bout we just get through the next couple weeks, or even the next diaper change.”

good advice, for sure. and finally, i got a great email from a friend of mine who had a baby last year and struggled with some of these same issues. She said,

“One day you’ll wake up and it’ll be a day of no crying -imagine that! You’ll be able to face the shower spray head-on. And wear pants without elastic, and carry Henry and something else at the same time, and almost recognize your old self again.”

I think that’s a day to look forward to.

Thanks again to everyone for your calls, emails and posts–I’ll be in touch soon.

—

Grandma Dickinson helped out this week.

Henry likes the swing (for short periods of time)

Lactation Preoccupation

yeah, it’s pretty much all I think about these days. And it’s definitely all Henry thinks about.

He’s nursing well, but we decided to go to a consultation with the folks at Meriter just to make sure we were doing this correctly and he was getting enough nourishment. I’ve said in earlier posts, but I’m very impressed at the quality of care available through Meriter–really helpful and supportive and down-to-earth, so that was great.

We met with a certified lactation consultant (“CLCs” as they’re known in the biz) and she sat right next to us for a nursing session—it was sort of like Olympic figure skating judging. Henry was rated on his form, his technique, degree of difficulty (could he nurse in multiple positions), etc. About the only thing they didn’t check out was his style, which can sometimes involve hilarious facial expressions or jazz hands.

He nursed for over an hour, which the CLC said was a sign of a growth spurt, and advised me to start drinking some special herbal tea that helps milk production–apparently he just wants more, more, more and clearly feels he’s not at his ideal fighting weight yet. It’s his world, I’m just the delivery system, so we’re drinking the tea and nursing a lot. The CLC says growth spurts only last a few days so he should settle into a more civilized nursing pattern again soon.

otherwise he’s a champion nurser and received high marks on his efforts. the CLC also showed me a few cool soothing tricks, and said not to worry about the fact he doesn’t like to be put down yet–she says most babies start to work their way out of your arms by about 4-6 weeks, and he’s just over 2 wks, so we’ve got some time.

We’re getting there.

7lbs 5oz

Henry’s back up to his birth weight today, woo-hoo!

Little

here’s more of our little guy. . .

and, here he is checking out his boppy and just hanging in his crib (proof that he can be put down, sometimes for up to one minute!)

and finally, here’s how and where we spend most of our time.