Turning the Corner

I had a roommate in college that used to yell “TURN THE CORNER,Turn the corner, turn the corner, turnthecorner, turnthecornerturnthecornerturnthecorner. ..” during football games, and b/c I really knew jack about football, I had no idea what the expresion meant. Someone finally explained it to me at some point, and the phrase still sticks in my head–especially now.

I feel like I’ve slowly turned a corner with the baby blues thing and am within sight of my old self again. Still massively sleep-deprived, but even that’s a bit better–we’ve had a couple of nights where Henry’s given me 4 hours in a row, which is like winning the lottery.

To say the hormonal onslaught took me by surprise is an understatement—I had no idea just how nutsy and unlike myself I’d feel. Everyone said the first two weeks were the worst, and I can see why that’s the case now. Here are the things I was worried to tears about this time last week:

-How bad would the avian flu get this winter? will it be the pandemic? how will i protect our little guy?

-How can i make sure he doesn’t grow up to be a Columbine-style killer? Am I a good enough parent to ensure that doesn’t happen? I’m sure the Klebolds and Harris families probably thought they were doing an ok job.

-I hate that he has to register for the draft someday. What if there’s still some crazy shit war going on somewhere?

-Will kids tease him in school? Will he have friends? Little kids can be such assholes.

and like a bajillion other things that don’t bear enumerating here, but you get the idea.

This week, I’m still aware that there’s a lot of stuff out there he’ll have to deal with, but I’m also feeling more confident in my ability to help him navigate it. And I also think the practical side of my brain is reasserting itself, because at one point I clearly heard my internal voice saying something to the effect of, “um, could you maybe worry about this stuff a few years down the road? how ’bout we just get through the next couple weeks, or even the next diaper change.”

good advice, for sure. and finally, i got a great email from a friend of mine who had a baby last year and struggled with some of these same issues. She said,

“One day you’ll wake up and it’ll be a day of no crying -imagine that! You’ll be able to face the shower spray head-on. And wear pants without elastic, and carry Henry and something else at the same time, and almost recognize your old self again.”

I think that’s a day to look forward to.

Thanks again to everyone for your calls, emails and posts–I’ll be in touch soon.

—

Grandma Dickinson helped out this week.

Henry likes the swing (for short periods of time)

Lactation Preoccupation

yeah, it’s pretty much all I think about these days. And it’s definitely all Henry thinks about.

He’s nursing well, but we decided to go to a consultation with the folks at Meriter just to make sure we were doing this correctly and he was getting enough nourishment. I’ve said in earlier posts, but I’m very impressed at the quality of care available through Meriter–really helpful and supportive and down-to-earth, so that was great.

We met with a certified lactation consultant (“CLCs” as they’re known in the biz) and she sat right next to us for a nursing session—it was sort of like Olympic figure skating judging. Henry was rated on his form, his technique, degree of difficulty (could he nurse in multiple positions), etc. About the only thing they didn’t check out was his style, which can sometimes involve hilarious facial expressions or jazz hands.

He nursed for over an hour, which the CLC said was a sign of a growth spurt, and advised me to start drinking some special herbal tea that helps milk production–apparently he just wants more, more, more and clearly feels he’s not at his ideal fighting weight yet. It’s his world, I’m just the delivery system, so we’re drinking the tea and nursing a lot. The CLC says growth spurts only last a few days so he should settle into a more civilized nursing pattern again soon.

otherwise he’s a champion nurser and received high marks on his efforts. the CLC also showed me a few cool soothing tricks, and said not to worry about the fact he doesn’t like to be put down yet–she says most babies start to work their way out of your arms by about 4-6 weeks, and he’s just over 2 wks, so we’ve got some time.

We’re getting there.